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Staying positive

Valeriia Zaozerska



"Thank you” is the best prayer that anyone could say. I say that one a lot. Thank you expresses extreme gratitude, humility, understanding.


Alice Walker”

Perception is the way we, as individuals, interpret ourselves and the world around us. Our five senses take in the environment, but it is the processing of this data in our brain through our "emotional filters" that actually constitutes how we experience it. When these filters are positive, we interpret information optimistically. Conversely, when our filters are filled with anger or hostility, our perception of the world becomes negatively biased against us. Our perception of the outside world is based on our inner worlds. When we feel tired, for example, we are much more likely to be irritated by a child’s behaviour that usually does not bother us.

Our perception of a situation has a greater impact on our lives that the situation itself. Noted psychiatrist Richard Gardner has said that the world is like a Rorschach test, where a person is asked to describe what they see in 10 inkblots that mean absolutely nothing. What we see in the inkblot is based on our inner view of the world; our perception bears witness to our state of mind. As we think, so we perceive. Therefore, the real need is not to change the external world, but to change our inner worlds.


There is a model that can help you better understand your actions and the way you interpret them:

A = the actual event,

B = how we interpret or perceive the event,

C = how we react to the event


Other people or events (A) cannot make us do anything. It is our interpretation or perception (B) that causes our behaviour (C). Consider, for instance, the time when you yawned during a conversation with your friend. They ask you if you are finding them boring. You were just tired because you had studied all night for an important test. Your yawning was A, their interpretation that you are bored was B, and their asking you about it was C.

Dr Martin Seligman, considered the father of positive psychology, developed a concept known as learned helplessness that had a powerful influence over his patients’ careers and wellbeing (Seligman, 2011). He found that when dogs, rats, mice, and even cockroaches experienced painful shocks over which they had no control, eventually they would just accept the pain without attempting to escape. Humans, he discovered, do the same thing.

In a series of experiments, his research team randomly divided subjects into three groups: those who were exposed to a loud noise they could stop by pushing a button, those who heard the irritating noise but could not turn it off, and a control group who heard nothing at all. The following day, the participants were administered another task that again involved painful sounds. To turn it off, all they had to do was move their hands about 12 inches. The people in the first and third groups figured it out quickly and were able to turn off the noise. However, most of the people in the second group did nothing at all. Expecting failure, they did not even try to escape the irritating noise. They had learned to be helpless.

Yet, and this is where it gets exciting, about a third of the people in group two, who had been unable to escape the pain, never became helpless. You may ask why? The answer turned out to be optimism. Dr Seligman’s team discovered that people who do not give up interpret the pain and setbacks as temporary as opposed to permanent, limited instead of pervasive, and changeable instead of out their control. Optimists would say things like, “it will go away quickly; it is just this one situation, and I can do something about it.” As a result, Dr Seligman’s team came to believe that teaching optimism could help protect people against anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Here are some of his suggestions on how to do that:

1. Listen to yourself and others to see how things are explained. Are the people powerful or victims? Do they have control or no control? Are hardships permanent or temporary? Pessimists describe bad things as permanent and pervasive and good things as temporary, while optimists describe them in reverse; the bad as temporary and the good as permanent and pervasive.

2. Change your language and feelings around the situations you face. You can stop being a victim, take control whenever possible, and understand that hardships are usually temporary.

3. Allow mistakes to be learning experiences, rather than a final judgment on your self-worth. Everyone makes mistakes. It is how you respond to them that determines how quickly you recover. Admitting a mistake and looking for the lesson you can take away from it will help you get over it and move on.


Let’s look at some of the primary characteristics of optimists and pessimists:

Pessimists

Optimists

Feel helpless

Feel hopeful

See problems as permanent

See problems as temporary

See problems as pervasive

See problems as limited

See no personal control

See personal control or influence

See failure as a statement about self

See failure as a lesson

Have low self-efficacy

Feel self-confident

Focus on problems

Are forward thinking

Tend to be hopeless

Tend to be hopeful

Tend to give up

Tend to stick with difficult things

Are less proactive with health

Are more proactive with health

Hold grudges

Forgive more easily

Focus on worries and negativity

Are less likely to dwell on the negative

Feel more stressed

Feel less stressed

Are more likely to have insomnia

Are more likely to sleep better

See glass as half-empty

See glass as half-full

Are more withholding

Are more altruistic

 

While these lists focus predominantly on psychological characteristics, the research has shown that the way we view and approach life (positively or negatively) can also have a profound impact on our physical health. A huge study involving 97,000 people found that the rate of heart diseases is significantly lower for those who are optimistic than for those who are pessimistic. In addition, women who scored highly on cynical hostility (distrustful attitude where individuals assume others are selfish, leading to persistent anger) were also more likely to develop coronary heart disease. Optimism, on the other hand, is associated with a higher quality of life, a lower incidence of stroke, improved immune system function, better pain tolerance, and longer survival in lung cancer patients.

Yet, blind optimism can lead to early death. The Stanford University of Longevity Project (University of California – Riverside, 2011) found that people who were mindlessly optimistic were also more likely to die early from accidents and preventable illnesses. Being sleep-deprived led to increased optimism and poorer life choices. College students who were too optimistic exhibited more binge-drinking behaviour. Also, compulsive gamblers were often rated as too optimistic.

In conclusion, it is always best to balance optimism with planning for and preventing future trouble. Being optimistic about eating the third bowl of ice cream with caramel sauce will lead to early death, no matter how much you wish it wouldn’t!no matter how much you wish it wouldn’t!

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