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Cheesy questions, cheesy answers.



“Just be yourself” is probably one of the most common and pointless pieces of advice people give each other. It’s one of those ‘I don’t know what to tell them’ phrases. We all use it when we try to pretend we care enough to come up with a good solution to whatever problem someone is facing.


Now, the irony this advice carries is something worth describing. This seemingly insignificant motivational quote is more than just the foundation for awkward first dates and cringeworthy get-togethers. It raises the question beauty magazines try to answer on a weekly basis; how to be myself? And the question that follows: who am I?


There are two ways in which you can answer this question. On one side of the axis there’s the melancholic and philosophical approach; you can go as deep as Freud with his psychoanalysis. The opposite approach is straight out of motivational YouTube videos, telling you that you’re the ‘main character’ and that no matter who you are, you can change the world. Nothing is wrong with them but they just seem too extreme to answer such a question.


Instead of getting all emotional, it’s better to look at those questions from a different point of view. Identity is influenced by a number of things: community, language, religion, hobbies and surroundings. Being yourself might mean a lot of things and it is up to a person to decide on their criteria.


Changing definitions.


When asked to define yourself, what would you say?


In the world where our lives revolve around trying to fit in, it is impossible to have a universal personality. We all are a part of many communities, all of which demand a slightly different approach from us. Consequently, we all modify our personalities depending on our surroundings, and there is nothing wrong about it. It is about time that the phrase “two faced” changed its reputation.


Trying to answer the question “who am I?” is only difficult because people have such narrow views on what they should be. We have this strong need to put tags on everything, even ourselves, hence having only one ‘self’ seemed natural for all those years.


People are too complex to be defined in three words. Being able to work out what interests you, what makes you feel good, and what type of people you like to surround yourself with is the modern approach to the “who am I?” question.


Instead of working out a universal personality, why not change it into a set of moods and approaches, depending on where we are, of course still staying true to our core values.


This can be achieved through developing a strong mentality, so that peer pressure will not influence whatever your beliefs are. Moreover, you can make a little mind map of the things most important to you and how they impact your persona. That way, working out a backbone for your personality should be pretty easy.


If you’re advised to “be yourself” while preparing for a job interview, would you actually tell the interviewer that you like parties, sleeping, and eating too much junk food on weekends?


Each community expects a different you, and it is not exactly bad. Fitting in to meet the standards of the society (therefore leaving your values and beliefs behind) is one thing, but fitting in on your own rules is a completely different one and it's about time this is understood.



Just be yourself.


Some might be scared of the reaction other people might have to their personality, so their natural response would be to change themselves to fit the standards of others. This however defeats the purpose. Fitting in is not about changing yourself completely for the pleasure of others, it’s about finding the balance between what’s already a part of your personality, and what seems right in the given situation or community.


We need to have the courage to create the base to our personalities, so that we can stay true to our values and beliefs, no matter where or who we are with. Yet, we also need flexibility, so that we fit our communities. So maybe those motivational YouTube videos are right after all? Maybe we can be whoever we want of course as long as we’re comfortable with it.


Instead of using “just be yourself” as a meaningless statement, we should think it through. We should redefine what is understood by personality and if it should be singular or plural. You never know, being yourself on your own rules might just be the best advice you could potentially get.

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